Intuitive Eating Principle #3: Make Peace with Food
How often have you found yourself “giving in” to your forbidden food and then eating with such intensity that it influences an overeating or binge eating episode followed by overwhelming guilt? This is what is known as Last Supper overeating. It is a belief that “I better get as much of this as I can now because after this I am not having it again.” Unfortunately, this doesn't last long and soon enough you find yourself caught in the same vicious cycle.
When you tell yourself that you can't or shouldn't have a certain food, it can lead to intense feelings of deprivation that build into uncontrollable cravings and, often, bingeing. You will hear me say this over and over.
Overeating and binge eating is not a lack of willpower.
When you give yourself permission to eat all food, without guilt, the urgency and excitement around food goes away. I hear it time and time again with my clients. The foods they once feared no longer pull at them. Foods that used to last only a few days now last weeks. Even better they often forget those foods are even there! Can you imagine?!
This may sound too good to be true. I hear you. It also may sound oversimplified. You may be saying, “If only it were that easy." You are right. The concepts of Intuitive Eating are simple, but the practice of changing our beliefs and our behaviors is complicated. It takes practice, patience, and persistence.
To practice this principle:
Take an inventory of the foods you currently forbid or restrict. What foods do you label off-limit? What foods do you tend to feel a loss of control around? Rank them from scariest to least scary.
Next, plan a time to try one of the foods. I suggest starting with the least scariest food. It's best if you could do this experiment in a calm environment, a couple of hours after eating a meal, so that primal hunger doesn't drive your experience.
Set the stage before you begin eating. Turn off distractions. Notice any anxiety that comes up and respond with kindness(see bonus visualization practice below). Reassure yourself this is a journey of discovery--not pass or fail. Allow space for curiosity and nonjudgemental awareness. Notice, bite by bite--how does this food taste? Am I enjoying it? Does it meet my expectations? Does anything surprise you?
As you continue to expose yourself over and over to these foods, the foods that once held such control over you will no longer influence that intense fear and anxiety.
You can make peace with food and find food freedom.
Bonus Practice:
A powerful activity can be manifesting and visualizing the positive behaviors you want to be able to have in your life. We are often so caught up in the negative thoughts and voices in our head that it is hard to imagine and believe we are capable of these positive changes. But my friend, I promise, you are so capable and so worthy!
Practice this visualization to manifest the positive behaviors you want to achieve. Take a minute to notice your breath. Take a deep breath in through your nose, noticing the air fill up in your stomach(not your chest) and then release through your mouth. Do this as many times as feels right to you. Your hands can rest gently next to you, on your lap, or some enjoy the feeling of placing their hands on their heart.
Next, visualize yourself being free from the urge to binge. See yourself in a situation where there is food all around you. You know that food is what you use to nurture your body, not to hurt yourself. In using food to love and care for yourself, you understand that it is not dangerous so being around it isn’t stressful and it isn’t delightful, it just is a fact of life. Food is just food. Repeat a positive mantra such as ““I am my own loving parent, caring for my body as I would somebody I love very much.”, ”How I feel about myself has nothing to do with what I eat or don’t eat.",
Initially, as you use this practice you may notice some resistance and discomfort. This is normal. Your Inner Critic will attempt to speak louder. This voice is a bully and it keeps you from making the positive changes you are working towards. Keep “talking the talk” of these positive affirmations and soon your inner voice will transform into your new belief system, leading the way to a new life filled with self-love and body positivity!
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