What to Say When People Comment on Your Food and Body

Have you ever found yourself feeling uncomfortable with your food intake or eating practices, and body image after a holiday or other type of gathering with your friends or family members? As mentioned in a previous blog post (see Handling Stress Eating Over the Holidays), conversations about diet and body weight commonly arise during gatherings involving large amounts of food.

Living in a society that is hyper-focused on diet culture and physical fitness brings ongoing challenges. Did a family member make a comment about the way your clothes fit? Perhaps they or someone else commented about something you ate or didn’t eat. Did they share their perception on whether you gained or lost weight since the last time you saw them? Maybe they shared discontentment with their own body and talked about the new diet that they are considering.

These types of discussions can be emotional triggers. Hurt, anger, resentment, and fear are typical emotions that arise from these types of responses. You may feel that your personal space has been violated, especially if you were unable to speak up and set boundaries with the individual at that very moment. Rebellious overeating is a common response to talk about body weight and dieting, as a psychological sense of scarcity ensues. That’s okay! Now is a good time to Challenge Your Inner Food Police (see Intuitive Eating Principle #4) and develop a plan of action for the next occasion! This will help you avoid the urge to revert back to the futile cycle of dieting.

Practice finding your own inner voice that serves as an ally to you, and promotes success, self-kindness, and respect. For example, when thinking about the friend or family member’s comment(s) you could respond in different ways:

·       Since they said something about the fit of my clothes, I must’ve gained weight. I really need to stop over-eating in the evenings. (Destructive)

·       My sister(insert person) tends to talk about food, eating, body weight, etc., nearly every time I see her. I am practicing Intuitive Eating and have come a long way in learning to honor my body’s hunger and fullness cues. (Empowering)

Make a plan for the next occasion. How will you set boundaries with individuals in order to avoid feeling triggered?

·       I will let my sister know that I would rather enjoy the food and our time together than have discussions that align with diet culture, and

·       that I won’t discuss such topics because I am learning to eat in a way that is best suited for me as an individual: my genetics, lifestyle, and personal needs and interests.

Now, you try! While you work, don’t forget to engage in your most important self-care activities - the ones that help you feel your best.

Enjoy eating…intuitively!